The Other Side of Fear
If we could see what it looks like on the other side, most of us would keep pushing!
© NPR
I once ventured out on a jog over the summer in a woodland behind where I live. It’s really beautiful and green, and I came across many a jogger and dog walker. I had my earphones in, with my Praise playlist on full blast, imagining all the fat I had accumulated during the first lockdown disintegrating with each step. I had no plan, to be honest, I was just jogging along the pathways to see where the path would take me. I got to an intersection and decided to take a left turn which would lead me deep into the thick of the woods. I was quite curious to see how far I could run before losing my breath, and also to enjoy the scenery. Little streams adorned the sides of the pathway, with huge trees casting a much needed shadow over me as it was quite hot that evening. I jogged past a little bridge and stopped to marvel at the peace and serenity the chirping birds and the sound of the flowing water generated. I imagined myself coming here to jog with the love of my life, reading a book, or even painting the scenery. Then suddenly, a wild and uninvited thought crossed my mind. There was no one else on this trail, and I imagined some dark spirits leaping out from the thick of the woods and dragging me away (I’d been watching Locke and Key prior to this jog). Or, a thief snatching my phone and car keys away. Or, worst of all, an attacker dragging me into the bushes to have his way with me. I felt a chill run down my spine, despite the heat. These thoughts sprung me back to life and I started jogging a little bit faster to finish sooner and get home before anything bad happened to me. I was consumed by fear.
When I got to the end of that trail at yet another intersection, I noticed that to my right, the trail led me to a bridge which looked really dark and scary as there were lots of trees casting shadows there. To my left was a trail leading up to a clear pathway with plenty of open spaces. I chose the path to my left and went on my merry way. Lo and behold, at the end of that pathway was yet another bush hidden away by thick trees. In a panic, I literally ran back the way I’d come from, preferring to run on a pathway in open spaces.
A week later, I went for another jog a little bit earlier than last time, and I decided to go down that pathway again. When I got to the intersection, it was less dark, so I was really curious to see where the pathway led. As I got closer to the bridge, I noticed that the trees weren’t all that thick, and it wasn’t as scary as I initially thought. In fact, as I crossed the bridge, I saw this beautiful, massive open space with lush, green grass and small bushes. It was like the perfect picnic spot, and the chirping of birds once again created this extremely peaceful and beautiful environment. Immediately, I thought to myself, “there truly is beauty on the other side of fear”.
In the usual Shanners’ fashion, I decided to make this a teachable moment - I can’t begin to explain how many opportunities I’ve allowed to pass me by because of fear. This year alone, fear has had me crippled, unable to function and unwilling to even get out of bed in the morning - literally! All I could see was darkness. I’ve been unable to see past that, to consider what lies beyond the shadows, beyond the thick bushes and tall trees. What lies on the other side of a physical battle with illness, a mental battle with stress and anxiety, a battle with exams, work, the pandemic itself, uncertainty about the future, all those issues that have no business consuming my mind, yet I welcomed them, gave them a cup of tea and made them feel at home and free to wreak havoc in my mind.
On the other side of fear sometimes lies beautiful things: restoration, recovery, forgiveness, love, excellence, and many other blessings. What we need is a leap (or step) of faith. Faith says that “even if things aren’t going well in this moment, I will believe that I’m only seeing a small part of the bigger picture.” Almost like a Wasjig (backwards jigsaw). My perspective is very limited, but God sees the bigger picture, and I must trust that He will ensure all the pieces of the puzzle fit together to create this perfect picture. At the end of this cold winter, spring will bring beautiful flowers leading up to sunny summer days and delicious BBQs with friends and family. At the end of my struggles, there will be growth, there will be joy and there will be peace.
So, I repeat: If we could see what it looks like on the other side, most of us would keep pushing! Ask yourself, what’s driving your fear at the moment?